“There’s an old saying in Tennessee, I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee–that says, ‘Fool me once . . . shame on . . . shame on you . . . . . . If ya fool me, I can’t get fooled again!'” — President Bush
You know, I don’t understand why people use and manipulate others. Do they get some kind of cheap thrill out of doing it?
I’ve seen that a lot in the past. I hoped I saw the last of it last time (and I thought I wouldn’t have to write about it again), but I just noticed more of the same today.
Here’s the scoop, it’s about two friends – A and B:
B, who was emotionally scarred by his ex/love-interest/crush/obsession/whatever she is today, continues to believe that “there is good in her and she can be redeemed” – when she used and manipulated both him and A and basically pitted them both against each other. B makes attempt after attempt to obsessively apologize/grovel at her feet, etc because he still has feelings for her; feelings which, might I add, she doesn’t deserve. What she does deserve is for some butch lesbian to punch her in the face but that’s neither here nor there.
This logically makes no sense, you say? Well, people aren’t always logical. They don’t often see the truth even if it’s staring them in the face. They sometimes see the world through rose-tinted glasses, only seeing what they want to see.
You can’t force them to see what you see because they won’t see things the same way as you do. They can’t read the writing on the wall the same way you can, no matter how much you try to force the issue – and so, “She’s a manipulative bitch and you shouldn’t obsess over her” gets ignored.
This former friend once chose his ex/love-interest/crush/obsession over A and A wasn’t pleased about it – and rightly so. Being the gullible shmoe he was, A accepted his apology and spelled out that in no uncertain terms was be ever to pull the same stunt again.
So months down the road after they mend fences, B somehow gets it in his head that A was been making death threats to his little obsession/love interest and look, A is once again a “threat” that must be exterminated. “No, that’s not what I said, I told her ‘she knows what I think of her and I don’t have to say it'”. Then B puts his foot in his mouth and makes threats of “Don’t make me choose her over you again”.
So once again, the chick’s got him wrapped around her finger so tightly that he’s buying into any BS she feeds him. Talk about being a master manipulator. You know what a martyr complex is? Well B has it – in spades. Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.
Obviously A’s going to get upset because B’s doing something he promised not to do (how much is the average person’s word worth nowadays anyway) and B gets basically told to go screw himself.
So you tell me who’s the better person, and who got the short end of the stick and if you chose the same person, you’re right.
If you think A should’ve known better in the first place and not allowed himself to get fooled again well, you get the grand prize. However, hindsight is 20/20.
When you use someone (or threaten to choose x person over y), that’s really not fair to anyone. It’s immature, it’s childish, it’s not something a “friend” would do.
Though, taking into account the age & mental stability of the person doing it, I’m not shocked at all…
Getting back to what a friend would and wouldn’t do, if you pull that kind of crap with someone, were you ever their friend in the first place? It’s like “yeah, I’ll talk to you as long as it’s convenient for me”. It’s incredibly self-centered and smacks of egotism.
So why is the word “friend” being used so lightly? What motivates people to do that?
If you have “friends” and you use them against each other, then in my opinion, you deserve to have no friends, grow old by yourself alone and die alone because you deserve the same treatment you dish out to others.
If you treat your friends like crap, you deserve to have none because you don’t know the meaning of ‘friendship’. The same goes if you even allow yourself to be pitted against two friends.
Like, grow some fucking balls and stick up for yourself – “he’s my friend, you’re my friend also and I don’t want to get involved” – how hard is it to say something like that?
To me, if you’re my friend and you’re hurting, I’m going to do anything I can to help you, including offering my opinion and if said opinion just happens to include your former friends/love interests/whatever and how you shouldn’t be agonizing over them, that’s still my opinion and I’m going to offer it anyway (I speak my mind and don’t let anyone push me around).
That’s what being a friend is all about, helping, giving advice, doing what you can to help your friends. I don’t play those games like “oh noes you said something I don’t like, or so and so said you said something (and i’m just going to side with them and assume you said it), i don’t like you anymore” – if people are going to pull that crap with me, or threaten to choose other friends over me, then I’ll put you on the next bus to Loserville so fast your head will spin.
If a friend says something I don’t like, sure I’ll say “That upsets me and here’s why” but I don’t let it affect my friendship with them – I’m well aware that my friends and I won’t agree on everything and that shouldn’t be a requirement for any friendship. If you want a puppet who will tell you everything you want to hear, sorry but that’s not a friend and that’s certainly not me.
I have also had several friends who didn’t like each other in the past (now they like each other). All I had to say was “I don’t want to get involved” and it was over very fast. Why can’t people just grow some fucking balls and just say that?
How hard is it to say “I don’t want to get involved”? Those are six very very easy words to type or say and if you don’t say or type them, you’re just letting people walk all over you. Are you a person with a backbone or are you a doormat?
For people who treat others this way, karma will get you..it’s just a question of when. If you don’t know what karma is, you’ll eventually be intimately familiar with it.