long term relationship - forever

Looking for a Long Term Relationship and Getting Tuned Out? Here’s Why.

Anyone who has read this blog for a while knows that I hate the gay scene. Does it really make sense for a community of people – who want to be accepted – to make a big production (ie. Pride) about how they’re different? You don’t see straight people making some sort of outlandish and outrageous parade, do you?

Take a look around at some of the personals sites, Craigslist, etc. Look at the many many posts of gay guys looking for sex and the small handful of guys looking for friends. You’ll see that it’s about a 20:1 ratio (sex posts vs looking for friends), if not higher.

Why is it that most guys only want one thing, even after the HIV/AIDS threat? Why do they not care about their health? Do they have a death wish? The AIDS/HIV threat is so scary, it’s terrifying. Look at the stupidity of NSA (“no strings attached”) sex – do guys even have the slightest of guarantees that the stranger they plan to screw doesn’t have AIDS/HIV?

Look at the whole “gay scene” – it’s very shallow – basically “Hi, are you hot? Wanna screw?”. So basically, guys like me who aren’t twinks and don’t give a rat’s ass about sex are generally ignored.

I’m a fluid bisexual (it depends on the day, the phase of the moon, etc), but I’m generally a borderline asexual. I could date anyone, but I don’t particularly have a sexual attraction to anyone.

I tend to be more attracted to females than males but am more emotionally attracted to males than females (because I’ve had more relationships with females, and I’ve been manipulated too many times by females and so far, I haven’t had half as many bad experiences with males).

Every friend I’ve met, I’ve met online. In the real world, I’m pretty much invisible. I mean, who wants to talk to someone who’s in their early thirties, doesn’t look like a twink and doesn’t want to screw you, right?

The last time I was noticed, I was walking past a club that had much older guys (50’s, 60’s maybe?) and that was downright creepy the way I was looked at (but I’m not ageist, it has nothing to do with that).

In most cases, people I meet online have to be poked and prodded to start/continue a conversation. I don’t know why, that’s just the way it works.

I shouldn’t have to do that, and certainly if they’re interested in talking to me, they should actually show an interest and ask questions. Most people don’t bother to take the time to do that and it seems that I’m asking the impossible.

I’m not really one of those types who would just have sex with any guy/girl because I have to be emotionally involved with someone before I have sex with them. It just doesn’t do it for me and it seems empty and meaningless.

So far with my relationships, I’ve come across very few people who are relationship-oriented (and if they are, they don’t give me half a chance). It’s been three years since my last relationship and I’m okay with that even if it’s another three years before the next one.

Most guys I know – who I really like – live quite far away, so it’s just not realistically possible to have a relationship with either of them. Considering my last long-distance relationship completely flopped, that’s not something I care to try again anytime soon – and it’s been three years since then.

I’m used to being pretty much celibate. It doesn’t bother me. Besides, there’s way too much pressure to go screw like rabbits.

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