snap judgment

A Small Rant About Snap Judgements and the People Who Make Them

For people who try to judge me based only on what they read, without getting to know me (specifically, I’m talking about someone who claims to look for friends, I send them here so they can learn a little about who I am and how I think, then they come up with some bullshit excuse on why they don’t want to talk further, eg “I don’t think our energies are compatible”):

I don’t need people like them trying to make judgements about me when I know me a hell of a lot better than they ever will. Besides that, it’s wrong to judge anyone when you’re not perfect either. When you do this, it makes you a hypocrite whether you realise this or not.

I’m obviously a hell of a lot better person than those who do this because I’m blunt, honest and to the point and I’ll tell people exactly what I think of them without mincing words.

My friends happen to respect those traits (though it might take some getting used to at first). Those traits are part of who I am and I will not apologise for them, especially not to a complete stranger.

Such people need to take their closed-minded ignorance (is there any other kind?) and go judge someone else. I don’t need people like them trying to make some completely uninformed (and also completely wrong) opinion about me based on what they read when they don’t have the common decency to ask questions.

They don’t even know me – what right do they have to make judgements? Also, by doing this, people end up losing a potentially good friend, probably one of the best friends they could ever have had.

Goodbye, go away, don’t bother & don’t let your head hit the door on the way out.

…and then the person says “good luck”, as she actually sincerely wishes me luck and what she said before that didn’t matter – luck has nothing to do with anything, what she said does matter and said wish of “good luck” is a bunch of hollow meaningless tripe. If you have something to say about someone, spit it out and don’t sugarcoat it in unnecessarily overly polite niceties or add those unnecessary niceties in another sentence after it (in some pathetic attempt to compensate).

What is wrong with society that we have to resort to those unnecessary and overly polite niceties? If I don’t like someone, I don’t mince words or sugarcoat them with overly polite crap.

I’ll tell them I don’t like them – but before I do so, I’ll try to sort out any issues between myself and said person (if said issues are worth resolving). If someone makes a mistake, I’ll tell them. If I have an opinion about someone, I’ll tell them. (Do you see a pattern here?)

I fully realize that I shouldn’t judge people because I’m far from perfect myself – and having said that, that’s something I try not to do. Try, being the operative word because judging is a part of human nature.

If everyone just said what they thought and didn’t sugarcoat it, I think we’d get a lot more accomplished in life. “I don’t like that, it’s a bad idea”. “I don’t like you and I’ll tell you why”. “I think you’re a good person and I’d like to get to know you”.

Isn’t that a lot better than some crap like “I don’t think our energies are compatible”? I thought so too. (Even “I think our personalities may not be compatible” may be more acceptable but I’d still be willing to give the person a chance – one chance and that’s all they get)

I challenge anyone who reads my blog to get to know one person from online – and by that, I mean “meet them in real life”. It could be a random person who you think might be interesting or it could be someone who initially seems unappealing.

Sit down with them, have a chat over coffee (or whatever it is you like to drink). The main thing is: get to know that person first. Reserve judgement until after you talk with them. It might take more than one chat.

Ask all the right questions if they’re socially appropriate. Try to get a feel for how the person thinks, what he/she believes, how he/she treats others. Who knows, your initial opinion might be wrong & you might be pleasantly surprised.

For those of us who still don’t get my point: Appearances can be deceiving (and they often are). Don’t judge a book by its cover (or don’t judge an anthology by its introduction, or even don’t judge a book by its movie) because covers and pretty artwork are completely meaningless; by not giving the book a chance, you end up missing all the good stuff written in the pages.

If I had judged books by their covers, so to speak, I wouldn’t even have the friends that I have now (mind you, I’d also be contradicting myself because I’d be a shallow bastard).

I don’t concern myself with how people look or how I think they live their lives because that’s completely irrelevant. What matters the most is who they are – and I think a great many people in this world could do well to learn that lesson.

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